Autumnal Equinox - in the Lyrical Bandbox

I was told to update this. LOL So, since I always do what I'm told (snarf!) I shall try.

It's been a hectic time around here -- and... I have to admit to watching way too many games of late the way I watched The Exorcist, with my hand over my face and one eye peeking between the slit of two fingers.. honestly.
(Does Eric Gagne's head swivel all the way around, do you suppose??)

I admit (proudly) to being a true blue, dyed in the wool, no foolin' no kidding Red Sox fan from waaaaaay back. No one can ever deny my creds. Because I know. I remember sitting on our couch during the HOT, humid dog days of summer as a kid. I was the only one watching most times - on a black and white tv no less. This team captured my imagination, I guess, because I learned the game from watching day in and day out - a tomboy who when she wasn't out climbing trees was watching the Red Sox.

So I say all of this I guess to justify my position that, ever since the end of 2003 I have a method of self preservation I use. And that is -- I back off. I went into the start of 2004 wary, telling myself that I wasn't going to get so emotionally involved, wasn't going to commit so much energy this season - because the end of 2003 wrecked me for a long time. It was ridiculous. Low level depression for weeks and weeks. Every morning wake up: "why do I feel like this? oh yah the Red Sox lost." I wasn't going to let that happen again!

I did a pretty good job in 2004 too, which is saying a lot because I absolutely adored that team, from A to Z, or ... Arroyo to Wakefield anyway (okay, maybe some Youkilis) and I felt very strongly that they were supposed to be The One. THEY were the Ones that were supposed to win it all. My favorite team ever. Ever.

And believe me, even I eventually gave in to my affections, totally fearing that my heart was going to be broken yet again ("God, I KNOW you didn't bring us back here to Game 7 against the Yankees to have us lose again... right??) But sometimes I just need to give that to myself - the permission to back off, not get so worked up and emotionally invested in it all.

Well, that's kind of where I am right now. I haven't been feeling real good about watching the Sox winding down the regular season and watching those Yankees moving up, trying to take our season long lead from us. There have been some excellent, exciting games though, but unfortunately a lot of real bummer games that should never have been lost. So that is likely why I haven't written in here - I am watching still, but holding my emotions at arm's length.

To tell you the God's Honest Truth: all I really care is, that the Yankees do not win it all. The Red Sox winning would be GREAT, very satisfying, but honestly, I don't care who wins if it's not the Sox, as long as it is NOT the New York Yankees.

I had a nice conversation with a client the other day, sitting at their kitchen table. Thirty year season ticket owners. And the guy says to me, what I've said all along. "I don't have to have the Red Sox ever win the World Series again... if they do, that's great, I'd love it, but I don't need it." To which I said "I know what you mean, because.. how could you ever beat that? You couldn't, that will NEVER be topped. Not just the fact that we've waited so long and so patiently, but the way they did it -- can never be duplicated or beaten. By any team, EVER."

And I still feel that way. And I would love the Sox to go all the way to the World Series and of course, win it again. That would be FANTASTIC. But my true feelings are more revenge motivated ~ I just want to go further than the Yankees in the playoffs and have them die. DIE. lol And we keep going. And barring that, that they do NOT win it all. It cannot happen.

So here is hoping that our final 6 games, at Home, at our Lyrical Little Bandbox* are exciting and we win and our guys who need rest get their rest, and they come out fighting in the playoffs.

And may the post season that is almost here, despite it seems like yesterday that it was the start of spring training, bring excitement and great baseball (and good umpiring, which has been a little suspect this season which is disconcerting..) and Greatly Satisfying for Red Sox fans and ... okay, some level of satisfaction for the other teams involved and good luck to all the teams in the post season!



Except those you-know-who's.





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* "Fenway Park is a little lyrical bandbox of a ballpark. Everything is painted green and seems in curiously sharp focus like the inside of an old fashioned Easter Egg. It was built in 1912 and rebuilt in 1934 and offers, as do most Boston artifacts, a compromise between man's Euclidean determinations and nature's beguiling irregularities."
-- John Updike, "The New Yorker" (1960)